A young man at a New Year’s party turns to his
friend and asks for a cigarette.
‘I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit
smoking,’ his friend says.
‘I’m in the process of quitting,’ the man says.
‘Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.’
‘What’s phase one?’
‘I’ve quit buying.’

1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor’s whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)
3. [...]

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at
the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present
something “Christmassy” to show they remember the holiday, or off to hell
they go.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed
in.
The second man presents [...]

December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as [...]

Bank Jokes
An American, a Mexican and an Italian robbed a bank. As it turned out, they got a lot of cash in Dollars, Pesos and Liras.
When they returned back to their hide-out, the American distributed the money in three even shares. He counted each portion aloud:
“1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, [...]